Examine Your Past to Exceed: Loosen Up on Your Letdowns (Part 1 of 2)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Soren Kierkegaard

If we’re honest with ourselves we’d admit that all of us struggle with the crippling power of fear in our lives. One of the biggest fears we struggle to come to terms with is fear of failure. Our pasts are littered with mistakes, regrets, and failures; events that we wish we could take back and do over again.  A recent survey was taken to see which tense people lived in. It revealed that 50 percent people live their lives looking in the past, while 40 percent live in the moment and 10 percent think constantly about their future. Why is the case? Because the past has already happened to us; it’s part of our memories. The present and future are being written, but aren’t part of our individual story yet. So we tend to live our lives in the past. The past is a large part of who you are, but that doesn’t mean we must live in it. Instead we must learn from our mistakes and failures, grow and become the person God made us to be, and live in the present with no fear of failure from what we’ve already gone through.

Everything in our lives is used by God to shape us and mold us for His purposes. As Romans 8:28 states: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.” For every achievement and positive moment in your life there are painful, difficult moments that God used for His glory. Divorce, physical abuse, cancer, depression, job loss, suicide, abortion, alcoholism–the possibilities are endless, but everything has a purpose for our life.  Every circumstance of our lives develop our character. This is obvious because we face circumstances 24 hours a day! Life is all about how we deal with circumstances, learn from them, grow because of them, and overcome them. Nothing is an accident or random–it’s all used for God’s purposes.

Life is a series of problems. No one is immune to them. Every time you solve one, another one is right around the corner. Not all problems and circumstances are big, but everything is used to draw us closer to God. Sometimes our most profound and intimate experiences of worship come from our darkest days; when we’re broken, out of options, and our pain is overwhelming–we have no choice but to turn to God. Joni Earekson Tada says this on pain from our past: “When life is rosy, we may slide by with knowing about Jesus, with imitating Him and quoting Him and speaking of Him. But only in suffering will be know Jesus.” The problems of our lives force us to look to God and depend on Him instead of our lives. You simply don’t know that God is all you need, until God is all that you’ve got. Even accidents are part of God’s good plan for your life. Everything that happens to you has spiritual significance.  Nothing is outside of God’s plan. So what can we learn from our past?

Your past is a part of you, but that doesn’t mean it has to define you. Before you do anything else in regards to your past, you must learn to forgive yourself from the mistakes of the past.  Christian artist Matthew West writes about this in his song, “History”: “You know you can’t stay right where you fell, The hardest part is forgiving yourself, But let’s take a walk into today, And don’t let your past get in the way.” If you stay caught up in your past regretting every mistake and failure you’ve made, you can’t effectively live in the present moment.  Guilt is never productive. It hurts, hurts, and hurts some more, you’ll never accomplish anything with this mindset. There’s no end in sight: Self-condemnation, shame, remorse, regrets, sorrow. What we need is a different kind of sorrow and remorse–repentance. Repenting is like turning around and going in the opposite direction. It is productive instead of counterproductive. So, once you come to terms with your mistakes and forgive yourself, you must completely surrender your past to God.

We like hiding our emotional scrapes and scars. We sometimes aren’t even aware we’re wearing a mask. Pretending to be someone else becomes appealing, so we don’t mind it all that much. The different masks come in all shapes and sizes–the mask of importance makes the insecure look secure, the mask of materialism makes the lonely feel valued, the mask of security helps the fearful person look strong, and the peaceful mask helps the worrier look calm. In the end, though, the only people we fool is ourselves. As Proverbs 3:35 states: “The wise inherit honor, but fools He holds up to shame.” Stop hiding your past scars, guilt, and failures, bring them to God. He is able to heal you completely and make you stronger from them. The Lord comforts, strengthens, and is close to those in need. Psalm 34:18 says:”The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  It may help to write your past mistakes, failures, and regrets down. Then in prayer, ask God to forgive you for them and hand them over to Him. Then tear them up and let God heal you from them. Christian artist Brooke Barrettsmith captures this is her song, “Farewell”: “Night turns to morning, You wonder why nothing’s changed, Do you really want forgiveness?, Or just the pain to go away?, Put pen to paper, This time for a different aim, The future is redemption, Your story of escape..”

God uses every part of our past to teach us something about Himself. Every problem is a character-building opportunity. Our circumstances are temporary, but our character will last forever.  We ultimately go through the same experiences Jesus went through in order to become more like Him. We are tested in problems of loneliness, temptation, stress, criticism, rejection, impatience, and many others. Our natural reaction to problems is bitterness and anger, but this doesn’t help build our character. You must stay focused on God’s plan for our life, not the pain or problem you deal with. To have endurance in this life, you must remember your pain is temporary, but your reward is eternal. “Our present troubles are quite small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever!” (2 Corinthians 4:17, NLT). From experiences of impatience we can learn patience, from lapses of worry we can learn peace, and from rejection we can learn acceptance. Every instance we experience is a given opportunity to grow our character to that of Jesus Christ.

Why is character building so difficult? Because it’s a very slow process. We must learn how to become patient and persistent in the process of character building. If we try to avoid or escape the difficult, painful lesson in life, we delay our growth, and this causes an even greater pain–denial and avoidance. When trouble comes stop asking “Why me?”, instead ask “What do you want me to learn from this?” Instead of giving up and accepting your situation–grow up! Don’t stop maturing your faith just because it’s taking longer than you’d like. Remember that your greatest triumphs are from our greatest challenges we face.

Through it all, we need to give thanks for God  in all circumstances. “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) How is this possible you ask? God doesn’t expect us to be thankful for our suffering, sins we’s committed, and painful consequences we deal with. Instead, He wants you to thank Him that He will use your problems to fulfill His purposes. Don’t rejoice over your pain, but rejoice in the Lord. God knows what’s best for us and is using everything to create something beautiful inside of us. The song “Miracle” by Audio Adrenaline declares this well: “Everything’s beautiful, Now that you’ve ruined my life, You took my dreams, And stole my schemes, And turned my life upside down, You took my heart, Stole every part, And made it a miracle.” Also know that God is going through the pain with us. He isn’t distant and apart from what we’ve going through. Contrary, God is there with us every step of the way never leaving our side.

How do we overcome our fear of failure? A large part of our fear of failure comes from what we’ve already experienced. We can relate how it feels to put effort, time, commitment, passion, and our heart into something only to come up on the short end. With each failure, we grow more tentative and frustrated until we eventually just want to give up. The first thing we must realize is failure is a part of life. It can’t we avoided no matter how much we dislike or disown it. Also failure is a tool used to show us how much we need to rely on God. We’ve all imperfect and flawed in need on the One who can alone supply our needs. Failure in a way is God’s megaphone to get our attention! As C. S. Lewis wrote: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Through our mistakes and failures we grow stronger in our character. As I stated earlier, character building is essential to becoming the person God created you to become. In conclusion, don’t let failure dictate how you approach the present. Stop the negative feelings of guilt flooding your memories of how you’ve failed in the past. God wants to carry the burden of your past; all you have to do is let go! Once you do, true freedom is yours to be found and you’ll begin to experience the life you were meant to live! Live as if you’re fearlessly failing forward!

**Next week I will conclude this short two week series outlook on Examining your Past. We’ll look at our positive achievements, outcomes, and memories. Through this we’ll see what can be taken away from them, how to cherish them, and use them for God’s glory in the present. Then starting in late July, I’ll start a 5-week series on Enriching Your Life to the Extraordinary on how to live your life to the fullest. Have a wonderful day and God Bless. **

Sources:

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life. Zondervan Publishers: Grand Rapids, Michigan, 2002.

Erik Rees, Only You Can Be You. Howard Books: New York, New York, 2009.