2011: The Year of Pain, Rain, the Insane, and No Gain

January 2, 2012

“Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain”   MercyMe Lyrics

It’s over. One of the worst years of my life is behind me. There’s no sugarcoating the reality of what the 2011 year was for me personally–awful , horrible, painful, difficult, grueling, frustrating….Why?  There were four main categories that the events of the year fell under and they’re as follows: pain, rain, the insane, and no gain. Let’s take a quick look at each….

It was a year of pain. There was emotional heartbreak to endure, frustration at every corner, and physical pain that I went through. Virtually the entire summer was overshadowed by stomach pain that I experienced from mid June to early August.  It was also a very trying year for me spiritually as my faith was tested in more ways than ever before….

It was a year of rain.I’ve never seen as much rain as I saw this year! It rained throughout the spring, summer, fall, and into the winter! Records of precipitation were shattered and flooding was a common occurrence in the area!  Plus there was plenty of emotional and spiritually “rain” that poured into my life. A long and trying year of school. A hectic, busy, and stressful schedule in the fall. This website, www.shoutitforlife.com, nearly being lost in late March and being down for 3 weeks. My Grandpa passing away in mid September, only 13 months after my Grandma. And on and on it seemed to go….

It was a year of the insane. In the sports landscape–the Cavs losing 26 in a row, the Ohio State debacle, the NFL and NBA strikes, the Cleveland Indians(my favorite team) 2nd half collapse due to a massive string of injuries. Many things that I took for granted never came this year.  I even experienced a few bouts of aches and pains that were quite strange and uncomfortable throughout the year(I’ll spare you the details). There were so many experiences and moments that left me searching for answers as to what just happened. Truly bizarre….

It was a year of no gain. Even though I got closer to getting my college degree, got a new internship job, and grew in other ways–I felt like I was stuck in neutral for most of the year. Perhaps it was the incredible amount of my peers and friends getting married. Or the big life changes happening to those all around me. Or the fact that I’m quickly approaching the big 3-0 already. But for whatever reason I don’t feel like I really made the progress and grew in the way I would have liked. It was quite a frustrating year…

What can I take away from 2011? First, the fact that no matter what happens in my life, there is still hope. I grew restless and weary many times over the past year, but I kept looking ahead knowing that God’s promises are secure. Even though I grow impatient and tired from waiting—God is faithful and can be trusted. Also God can use my darkest days, moments of weakness, trials and tribulations for His glory. There is a purpose behind it all and He’s preparing me for what lies ahead. I also learned that to follow Christ isn’t always easy and there will be hard and difficult days to endure. But He is well worth the price of the suffering I endure. Finally, I saw how to praise God in all circumstances and in all seasons. I’ve spiritually been in a winter of the soul for about two years now. The past two years have been absolutely brutal, but I feel like I’ve grown closer to God than I ever have before. Now it’s time for a fresh, new beginning…I gladly welcome the year of 2012!….

I don’t believe I’ve ever been more relieved and excited for a  fresh start and new year than I am right now. After two hard fought years, I’m optimistic that 2012 will be a year to remember.  I’m calling 2012 as the year of the “Awakening.” It seems appropriate considering the circumstances: Many schools in our area are being rebuilt, a new community center is opening, and  my best friend is directing the play, “Spring Awakening” this year. There’s also a cry for rebirth and renewal in our nation as we approach the presidential election; along with the desperate cry of spiritual revival in our nation and churches.  I also have felt the need for a spiritual revival that has been long overdue….

As I have come to realize…the change for better things and a brighter future beings with me.  My attitude needs to be focused in on learning to be content for what I have and striving for what is yet to be (gratitude). My actions need to be fixed on having the courage to live a life of faith living in complete dependence on God(faith). My abilities need to be following God’s will for my life, growing closer to Him and becoming who I was made to be(identity). Finally, my accomplishments need to be without expecting favor and done in humbleness as I grasp His greatness(humbleness). I have to become the change in order to see the change. These are some of the key principles I’m setting my sight on this year….

I like making New Year’s Resolutions, setting goals, and dreaming big. The problem, of course, is staying committed and following through on what I set out to do. It all begins with a simple choice to begin. New habits, new mindsets, and dreams can’t be realized without taking that first step. Here then is some of the biggest resolutions I have for 2012:

• Memorize the entire book of Colossians by the end of the year (2 verses a week)
• Write down 1,000 things I’m gratitude for by the end of the year (in a gratitude journal)
• Develop and mature the character traits of Humility, Confidence, Courage, and Self-Control (one for every 3 months)
• Pursue 100 dreams every single day (as each one is attained, I’ll add another to the list) 

2012 marks a revival for myself and I hope that you too will strive to begin an “awakening” in your life. You may have had a very special year in 2011 or perhaps it was a good year… but could have been better. No matter where you are in life know that there is hope for a brighter future and it all begins with you. You can begin the change needed in your life. Set lofty goals. Dream big. Never stop believing.  You were made for more. It’s never too late to get started. Why not begin that first step to the future of endless possibilities and potential today? As A. W. Tozer writes: “God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.”  May that be your prayer today. To do the impossible with God. Only you can decide what to do with the time you have left. Awaken your heart, mind, and soul to God’s dream for your life! 

Thanks for reading. Happy New Year Everyone!

Clinging to Christ,

~Kyle