Back to the Basics: The Building Blocks of a Believer

February 14, 2011

“Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love” Brandon Heath Lyrics

**This is especially written for all of you singles who may be struggling with feelings of loneliness or hopeless this Valentine’s Day**

It can be tough being single. In fact it can be downright depressing. Especially today on Valentine’s Day. For me personally it’s been a rough year on the dating/romance front as I’ve faced a strong dosage of rejection and heartbreak. Along with this I’ve faced feelings of confusion, frustration, and, yes, even jealously as well. It all started one year ago on Valentine’s Day 2010, too, which only adds to the pain. Our society is obsessed with “falling in love” and romance. It’s everywhere you turn and there are few days I cannot help but ponder on what all the fuss is about. It’s hard not be jealous of what others have; especially those who have already found that special someone. I admit I have got caught up in finding “the one” on a few occasions and worried that time will run out for me; as I’m already on the other half of my twenties. I want to complain and wallow in self-pity at how unfair this is and protest to God on why He put me through all of this pain in the first place. Why is the door been slammed shut in my face and the key locked away over and over again? Why is this so hard? But I’ve learned a few things in the midst of pain that have really opened my eyes…

I recently wrote a very powerful blog on returning to a radical love with Christ (last Monday) and I have to admit as I was writing it I knew I was one of the people who needed to hear the message more than ever. I’ve been so caught up in what other people think; especially young women lately, that it’s really tampered my first love–Jesus Christ. It’s tough to put my finger on why I’ve had such a hard time desiring to draw closer to Christ recently, but I believe that this is a big reason. I’ve also had plenty of distractions and the “busyness” of life has gotten in my way, which certainly hasn’t helped. In early November I recommitted my life to Christ and after going through a very strong spiritual season; I have fallen away the past few months as the storms of life hit me hard. Now I’m beginning to get back to the basics and grasp what’s been missing from my life….

There are a few building blocks every believer needs to have and it all begins with surrendering your will to God. I’ve been back and forth with this for almost a year now since mid-April of 2010 and after reading about it, writing about it, and trying to live it out–it’s finally starting to make sense. I think often times we try too hard to please God instead of just letting Him do what He has to do in us. Instead of trying to live up to a certain standard and love God more…perhaps we need to grasp that without Him we can’t love Him. It sounds strange at first, but it’s true because He is the entity of love. In the same way, I need to learn to just learn to let go of things, instead of trying harder. Let Him work in my life and let Him change the areas of my life that need change. This is what grace is all about. I’m still trying to put this all together, but it’s starting to make more sense now…

My prayer life has been all over the place lately. There are weeks where I pray constantly and feel a close connection to God. Other weeks when life is crazy and life is hard; I find myself distant from God more and struggling to talk to Him. Again it comes back to trying too hard to please God. I need to be completely honest, open, and broken towards Him in all seasons of my life and not worry about sounding perfect or using fancy terminology. After all–He knows everything about me and everything I’m going to say before I say it! Gratitude is also very important and I have to continually give thanks for all circumstances of my life. This isn’t easy but I believe it makes a world of difference in one’s life. Every revival of the heart starts with prayer and I believe it’s critically that we reestablish the importance of a vibrant prayer life. This is another critical building block every believer need to establish their life upon…

We all struggle with finding time to read God’s Word from time to time. We use every excuse in the book, yet fail to realize that the only book we need is the one we often neglect! For me personally it’s hard to establish a consistent quiet time to read and reflect on the Bible because of a changing work schedule and every semester of school being so radically different. And if I’m busy, I often find an excuse not to go ahead and draw closer to God. The problem isn’t so much my schedule, as it’s my heart–I view my time with God as a obligation instead of wanting to get to know Him out of love and reverence. I believe in order to change my heart I must come into God’s presence with expectancy and awe. When spending time in God’s Word remember these key points: Read His Word like it’s the first time you’ve read it, ask Him what He’s trying to communicate with you, and learn to be still in His presence…

Lastly, a building block that we need to emphasize is community. Through community we are able to grow better, keep each other accountable, and learn how to love. I tend to push others away when life is tough, but in reality these are the times when I need people in my life more than ever. We weren’t created to be alone–we were created to love and be loved. Valentine’s Day is a perfect example of the importance of love and I believe it’s critically that we find a strong church home to establish our faith in order to grow, learn, serve, and share life together. Cherish the loved ones in your life and don’t take them for granted. Tell them how you feel and let them know how much they mean to you. There’s no greater treasure than love…

You may be wondering what this all has to do with being single? Simply put, I believe being single has it’s many advantages. It may sound strange since we place so much emphasis on “being in a relationship” or getting married, but hear me out. First off, by being single you have a better opportunity to get to know yourself. You better understand your strengths, weaknesses, personality, spiritual gifts, abilities, etc. In order to find “the one”, you first have to become” the one.” Also by getting to know yourself , you are able to have a healthy self portrait of you who are and, then when the time is right; you’ll be ready to for that special someone. Another reason that being single isn’t as quite so bad is that you’re able to establish your values, hobbies, your career, and just learn to be responsible. It goes hand in hand with understanding who you are as a person. Then there are the obvious reasons such as saving money, time, and emotional pain–it may sound a little bit self-centered–but it’s true to some degree that there’s not as much at stake when you’re single. Simply put, being single isn’t a curse, but it’s a blessing in disguise. Finally and most importantly you learn to love God and put Him at the center of your life….

Why is loving God so hard? You would think falling in love with the creator of the universe, your redeemer, your only hope in a world of darkness, and the author of love Himself would be easy. But often times, it’s not. A major reason is simply boredom. We’re become so used to the message that God loves us that it’s become background noise more times than naught. We sometimes only cling to this amazing truth only when we’re desperate and in need of Him. Another big reason is we love to learn about Him, but we don’t want to act upon what we discover. It’s easy to know the facts and fill our heads with what we should be doing. It’s quite another to live them out and apply them into our lives. Or it may be the exact opposite, we don’t know enough about Him and have a tainted view of who He is. This can directly affect your decision making and negatively impact how you view life. Lastly, we do things out of guilt and obligation instead of a consuming passion and love to get to know Him. We need to rediscover what grace is all about. It’s not about what we do; it’s about what He has already done! God is passionately in love with each and every one of us, but He wouldn’t force you to love Him. Because love can’t be forced–that would be manipulation. Each one of us has to choose how we will approach our relationship with God…

If you’re reading this and you’re single, I hope to encourage you to be patient and not lose hope. God knows what’s best for us and is orchestrating all the details of our lives to His perfect will. He doesn’t guarantee that we’re all find “the one” or even a life full of happiness for that matter. Instead He offers us life to the fullest; a life where we can pursue Him freely and get to know Him more each and every day. I know that this not always what we want to hear, but it’s much better–trust me!! He’ll never let us go, never forsake us, and never stop loving us any less than He already does. He is the very definition of love! Turn back to your first love and you’ll never thirst for love again. He is all you’ll need and is more than enough. Take His Hand and enter into the Divine Romance! For Love is Here! Thanks for reading. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

~Kyle

Construction, Changes, and the Challenges it Creates

March 18, 2011

“Living in the same town
For all these years
Doing the same old things
Hanging with the same crowd
And it’s starting to get crippling
You’ve never felt in place
And you tell yourself it’s all okay
But something’s different today
You want to run the opposite way” ~Leeland Lyrics

Change is inevitable. Have you heard this axiom before? I bet you have. This is something we come to grips with at a very early age. The more we run from it, the more it forces itself upon us like a huge avalanche. Most of us fear change for a variety of reasons: the disruption of our personal comfort level, the difficulty of adjusting to something new, or losing something we hold dear to our heart. As I’ve discovered recently change is necessary and essential for spiritual growth, substance, and character development. Speaking of change, there seems to be an awful lot going around lately …..

Recently the city where I live has been overwhelmed with construction and changes—everywhere. Gone are the places I had fond memories of and the establishments of my youth. A lot of these changes have to do with the present economy and rapidly changing market place. Blockbuster, Kmart, Radio Shack, Ponderosa, small in-town businesses, Giant Eagle (where I previously worked), and Steiner Youth Center have been either replaced or demolished in the past few years. New businesses like Chipotle, Panera Bread, Goodwill, and Dunkin Doughnuts have taken their place. Construction is literally everywhere!! (Not to mention an incredible amount of pot holes!) Like my hometown, my life has been rocked with changes lately….

Today is my 27th birthday…I still can’t believe it!! My twenties have blown by and each year seems to go faster than the last one. There are some days when I look back at my childhood and long for the “good ole’ days” when summers were long, the Cleveland Indians were good(LOL!), and school was the only thing I had worry about. Now I’m an adult faced with major decisions to make daily, responsibilities left and right, and a world that seems more menacing by the day….

The past few years I’ve dealt with some very difficult changes. The most difficult one was the death of my Grandma last August. She was a huge part of my life and I had some incredible memories growing up with her and my Grandpa. I’ve also dealt with my brothers moving out, a new place to work (same employer though), friends and co-workers moving away, and my best friend getting married. No matter how much I cling to what was; I have to face what is….

Baseball players are said to have a “breakout” year at the age of 27. It is based on the fact that at the age of 27, a player tends to reach this full potential and begin to enter his prime years of his career. Does a baseball player always have their best year at the age of 27? Of course not. But there’s a lot of evidence to support the fact that the age of 27 in baseball has a magical quality to it…

Why do I bring this up besides that fact that I’m turning 27 today? I bring it up because I am convinced more than ever that this year, and the next 3 for that matter, are critical for by growth as a person and follower of Jesus Christ. I’m more behind on getting my life together than most of my peers, but the good news is that I still have time to make something with my life. All is not lost. I need to start “breaking out” of my comfort zone and reaching my full potential in life. Taking healthy risks, not settling for mediocrity, knowing myself inside and out, and establishing the foundations I want to build upon for the rest of my life. Ready to embrace change, instead of running away from it…

If there’s a life to emulate, it’s the life of Christ. At the age of 27, Jesus was still working for His father in His hometown of Nazareth as a carpenter. It’s incredible to think that He didn’t enter His ministry and began to make a name for Himself until He reached the age of 30. He changed the world forever in just three short years. In the meanwhile He was leaving an “ordinary” life growing in stature and wisdom along with establishing favor with God and man. (Luke 2:52) This is my vision as well–to continue to grow in wisdom, as a person, and my relationship with people and God. Then be prepared and ready for the incredible changes that I’ll be faced with at when I enter my thirties….

My life in a sense can be summed up with this statement right now: “the things I want to change stay the same and the things I don’t want to change, change more often than not.” I have myself to blame for being stuck in some areas of my life, others have been caused by things out of my control, like the economy. In all this frustration and confusion, God has been teaching me about the power of patience. And the truth about trust in His perfect Will in my life. Is it easy? Absolutely not! The pieces of the puzzle are starting to be put together, but it’s still a little blurry on what the main picture is right now…

What do I want you do take away from these insights of my life? First, there’s nothing wrong with cherishing memories and thanking God for what He’s blessed you with. But at the same time you can’t live in the past and forget about what’s right in front of you–the present. The past can’t be changed and no matter how hard you wish it–you can’t go back to the way things were. You are part of a story and this story is constantly having chapters added. Although you have limited control over some of the details–you do decide on how you’ll respond to those details. God is handing you the pen and allowing you to write the specifics of your story. Ask yourself this moving forward: Is He the main character of your story? …

You can complain on how difficult and unfair the changes are or rise above them. God has a reason for everything that happens in our lives; even if we’re clueless on the “why.” Changes aren’t always good or pleasant to experience. At times they can present pain, heartbreak, agony, and incredible stress. Regards of what happens, though, we need to turn to God; trusting in His Will for our lives. Finally, know that no matter where you are in life that your future can still be bright. Examine your life and see what needs changed. Run the opposite way of where you’re headed. Don’t settle for what is–strive for what could be and ultimately what WILL BE! Our lives are like construction zones–always being built, torn down, and built up again. We are never fully complete until we reach our true home to meet our Redeemer who will make us brand new again. Until then, we need to set our sights on always changing for the better. To bring glory and honor to Christ and becoming the person we were created to be–never settling for anything less. After all, change is inevitable!

Thanks for reading. God Bless.

~Kyle