The Unbreakable Bond Built Between Best Friends

November 1, 2011

“You’ve got a friend in me.
If you’ve got troubles, and I got ‘em too.
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.
If we stick together we can see it through,
Cause you got a friend in me.
Yeah, you got a friend in me.

And as the years go by,
Our friendship will never die.
You gonna see it’s our destiny.” The signature Toy Story theme song

**Dedicated to my Best Friend**

We connect with memorable friendships. Friendships such as Woody and Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story, Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter in the Boy Meets World, Harry and Ron in Harry Potter, and Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings have best illustrated what it means to be a friend to me as I’ve grown up throughout the years. Best Friends have resonated with us in literature, movies, and television shows throughout our lives. There’s something very special, incredible, and magical about the bond between friends. And when you have been blessed with a best friend, everything in your life seems brighter, more colorful, and much more meaningful….

The year of 1991 was a very memorable period in my life at the young age of seven. My youngest brother Kevin was born in February. My family and I moved in the summer (despite it being from one end of the street to the other!) And I began the wondrous period of my life called–1st grade! I was extremely shy then and making friends was not an easy chore. And I had a hard time standing up for myself. Then entered my soon-to-be best friend in the most unusual way–as an enemy. He had a bully mentality and I was the perfect target. For the period of a month things were not pleasant. I wanted nothing to do with him and frankly I was miserable. Then the unexpected happened. Brian had a change of heart. Asked for my forgiveness and instantly we became friends(and Brian abandoned his life as a bully!) And the rest they say is history….

Brian and I were in the same class for the first four years of elementary school and never looked back. We never questioned our friendship; we just knew that it was meant to be. Every step of way, God was behind the scenes guiding us as we grew and matured in our friendship. There were plenty of rocky moments, times where we got on each other’s nerves, and stretches where we were kept apart through our circumstances. But we got through them and grew stronger because of them….

It was through Brian that God brought my family and I to my current church family at Northside Christian church in 1998. And only a few months later I was baptized and committed my life to Christ. My love for singing and music was found through our friendship. Baseball became a passion of mine and his as well as we grew up with the “glory years” of the Cleveland Indians. We shared many passions and hobbies together. There were many long night conversations and sleepovers. It was through our friendship that I begin to form my identity in who I was meant to be in Christ. It’s breathtaking to think that it’s been twenty years since we first became friends and that begs the question….

Why is friendship so hard to maintain in today’s society? The term, friends, is loosely used today as clearly seen through our Facebook pages. We have hundreds upon hundreds of “friends” in which we can view their photos, keep track of their day to day activities with status updates, or get a hold of them through instant messaging. But how many of them would you really call a friend? Meaning someone who you interact with on a fairly regular basis, have meaningful conversations with, and know more information about them than a few well known facts(i.e. their birthday). If we’ve honest, our friends list then isn’t quite as big as we are willing to let on. It’s fairly safe to say that we are starting to grow a false sense of security through the craft of social networking….

And there’s the isolation we find through technology today. Instead of having real conversations with people in our community; it’s slowly being replaced by machines. Automated teller machines for banks. Self checkouts at grocery stores. Redbox or Netflix services for video rentals. And that’s barely scratching the surface of the matter. Busyness is also hindering our opportunity for friendships. We barely have time to feed ourselves let alone giving up our time to spend a full 15 minutes talking to someone….face to face. Now it’s replaced with artificial interaction such as texting, e-mail, talking on our cell phones, and skyping. Of course these ways to communicate aren’t wrong, but if we’re not careful they put up a wall between us and the rest of the world (Obviously some circumstances make it impossible to interact with a friend without technology; mainly distance) What’s the key to a lasting friendship? How do you form friendships that have substance, quality, contentment, and joy? The seven essential ingredients needed for friendship are as follows: Trust, loyalty, communication, common interests, quality time, gratitude, and most importantly love.

Trust is the foundation of friendship. It is an absolute must. You must prove yourself to be reliable. In the case of a best friend, you’ll find that you can tell that person anything because of the trust you’ve built. The quickest way to destroy a friendship is to misplace your trust. And along with trust, there’s loyalty. Loyalty and trust are connected because you can’t possibly have one without the other. Loyalty stems from being held trustworthy. It means being there for each other through thick and thin. Holding each other accountable. Not letting conflict build a fence between you. In connection, communication is then the core component that connects trust and loyalty together. You can’t expect to form meaningful relationships with no communication actively flowing back from each other. And often times the more comfortable you are with someone, the less that needs to be said, because you know what the other person is thinking. But communication is still vitally important in order to express your feelings, share interests, and connect with each other on a deeper level. It takes times to build the lines of communication. This leads me to the next ingredient necessary…

Time is our most precious commodity. How we spend our time dictates who we are, where we’re headed, and who we’re becoming. In the case of friendships, spending quality time with someone is not necessarily a must, but critical to keep it growing. Obviously, the closer you are to someone, the more time you’ll want to spend with them. Whether it be a few hours or an entire day out of your busy schedule—it shows you care and that they are important to you. It shouldn’t be seen as an obligation or duty. That’s why common interests should not be overlooked. Of course in the context of dating, most of us are quick to point out that common interests are an absolute must. But this is also the case for ANY friendship whether it be with a family member, peer, romantic interest, co-worker, or budding acquaintance. There must be something that connects you–sports, music, movies, nature, hobbies–whatever it is it must be a shared interest you both enjoy. This is where your conversations and time will be built creating lasting memories with each other. So take the time to discover a person’s likes, dislikes, passions, and talents in order to build a good starting point for a lifelong friendship…..

Always remember to be grateful for the gift of friendship. It is so easy to assume that they know that you appreciate them and you are blessed to call them a friend. This is an easy path to take. The much harder and more uncomfortable path is the one in which we take time to say “thank you.” The axiom, “you don’t know what you’ve got, until it’s gone” is true because we usually don’t are too caught up in the moments of our lives to take a step back and reflect upon what we’ve been given. How can we be thankful for our friends? It can be through a simple gesture of a card. A gift on their birthday. A pat of the back when they helped accomplish a goal. Providing service to them such as washing the dishes or babysitting their kids. Being a shoulder to cry on. In some cases, a simple “thank you” spoken is more than sufficient. Saying thank you goes a long ways to maintaining and letting your friendships prosper in life…

Love is the core of friendship; as well as the very heart and soul. Without love, relationships are not possible. What does it mean to love in the context of a friendship? It means to put your friend before yourself. Their needs before your own. Showing patience despite the urge to hurry. Embracing kindness in the face of anger and conflict. Being respectful of their feelings. Sharing in their sorrow. Being present in the moments you’re together. Learning to forgive often and overlooking their faults. Serving out of joy, not duty. Every moment shouting the words, “I love you!” in your actions towards them. This is what love is all about. Because without love, there is no friendship. And without friendship there are no meaningful relationships to be found. It seems obvious, but how often we forget the profound joy of loving others ….

Friendships built with our co-workers, classmates, church family, and loved ones in our family is something we all need to pursue in our lives on a daily basis. But there’s something unique about the relationship we have with our best friend. And if you’re blessed like me to have grown up with that best friend; the bond you build is all the more special. You share life together. The ups and downs. Being with that person isn’t a chore or an obligation, it’s an absolute joy. Time flies by. You can share anything with them. Trust isn’t a burden, it’s an honor. You feed off of their encouragement and support. So if you’re fortunate enough to have a best friend to rely on; who’s there through thick and thin, and is like a brother or sister to you—don’t take them for granted. Hold on to them tightly. Embrace every moment you spend together. Laugh often. Let joy fill the bright, colorful pages of your lives. And never forget….that this life is just the beginning. Death is not the end. Although your may spend time apart in this life there is hope for what’s to come. In Christ, all friendships last forever!! What a glorious reality this is!!…

Brian and I have lived life together–through the storms, the triumphs, and the ordinary. Landmark events such as graduations, marriage, mission trips, birthday parties, job promotions–you name it. Every step of the way Brian has been there for me and I have been there for him. Twenty incredible years have passed. And I can’t thank God enough for bringing him into my life! I don’t want to imagine what my life would have been without him. So remember to never take your best friend for granted. Savor every moment you spend with them. Constantly give thanks for the blessing God has poured into your life. Here’s to twenty more years of our friendship…and for all the memories to come…. for infinity and beyond!

Thanks for reading! Hope everyone had a safe and Happy Halloween. God Bless.

~Kyle

Beholding the Beauty of Blogging Backwards

November 9, 2011

“This ladder never ends
I climb up then we slide down again
Still they say you’ve not arrived
until you reach the top
But Your kingdom’s upside down
it is the servant who wears the crown
First is last and last is first
and You’re all that I’m not” Steven Curtis Chapman lyrics

I have a confession to make. I had no intention of being where I am today. As I look back over the past two years from when I wrote my first blog until today (11/14/09), I honestly can say I never planned this. But God did. When I first began blogging, there was no master plan, no long term vision to attain, and no goals to achieve. Instead I wrote because I loved to write and I wanted to tell others about Christ. It was that simple. Sure I had a very creative idea with the phrase, SHOUT IT, but I was basically making it up as I went along. It’s been such a blessing to have this platform today telling others about Christ. Now I clearly see back then God was preparing me for something greater, something bigger than I could ever have possibly imagined. And the journey is just beginning. There’s so much more that God has in store….

Over these past two years through SHOUT IT Ministries I have learned a lot about myself, who God is, how to live out the Christian faith, and blogging in general. Blogging (short for web log) simply means to write a log or journal entry on the internet. In the past 3-5 years the concept of blogging has exploded. Now all big businesses blog regularly and there a blogs on every topic you can think of. It’s even a business in of itself. There are some who make a living out of blogging. It’s cheap to start, there are many different tools available that are easy to use(such as WordPress), and you don’t have to be a top notch writer to set the world on fire. For Christians, blogging is in some ways backwards to what everyone else is doing. Here now is what I have learned these past few years….

The first thing I have grasped is that blogging is hard work. It may be enjoyable and a rewarding activity to partake in, but it still requires much time, effort, and service. There are days when I don’t want to put the work required in. Others where I simply have writer’s block. And then there are days where I just don’t care. Over time I am beginning to come to an understanding that blogging is more than just work, service, and time but it’s also worship….

Through my time studying and reflecting on worship earlier in the year, my eyes were opened to how big the concept of worshiping God was. It’s so much more than a Sunday morning service, music, or a type of music–it’s a lifestyle that we carry out towards God. Every thought, word, and action should be seen in light of this truth–that God is worthy all honor, glory, and praise in everything we do. Blogging is no different. It’s an offering of gratitude proclaiming “thanks!” in response to the awesome love, grace, and faithfulness He shows us daily…..

The world’s view of success is all about numbers, power, prestige, and fame. It should be no surprise then that with the sphere of blogging, although fairly new, it holds these values tightly as well. To blog backwards for the kingdom of Christ is be free of self and status. To do things no one else is doing, you can’t do what everybody else is doing. In other words setting your sight on the Savior instead of the site meter. The Audience of One. Don’t write to serve the readers, but God and God alone. For me, personally, it’s hard at times not to give into frustration with the lack of progress, comments, interaction, or visitors I’m drawing in. But then I realize, when you serve God you are free from the bondage of praise, power, and people-pleasing the world clings to….

The next trap that is easy to fall into with blogging is letting others dictate your value and thus determine your self-worth. To backwards blog, is to cast aside your pride. Trying to prove yourself to others is an endless pursuit that will only bring you misery and resentment. God’s view of who you are is all that matters in the end. Not your view of yourself, not other people’s–only His. The only reason I have the talent of writing and creativity is because God instilled them in me. For His glory. To bring honor to His name. Not for my own delusional fame. Blogging is an act of surrender. It’s giving God complete control and letting Him fulfill his purposes through your efforts. Place your own ambitions, wants, and desires at His feet and let His will be done through you. It’s a daily practice that starts with a choice to give over our right for control…

Backwards blogging is not perfection. Far from it. I’m not referring to spelling errors or punctuation that’s incorrect—but the content itself. The words you write need to be honest, open, and mirroring the truth that is reality. We are told to hide our weaknesses and make ourselves look better than we are in our society. In job interviews, first dates, meeting new people–it’s almost second nature to hide the truth. In the art of backwards blogging there’s no sugarcoating the truth. You are flawed. You make mistakes, just like everyone else. And that’s okay. God loves you anyway. For every weakness, He’s everything you’re not. The more you rely on Him, the stronger you become. Our brand in our blogging is not that of a perfect image, but one of brokenness…..

When you think of art what first comes to mind? A painting, a decoration, a piece of sculpture, or a beautiful sonnet? How about blogging? Blogging is a art form too. It’s using your unique personality, gifts, and abilities to tell your story. And in telling your story, you are actually telling a much larger, grand scaled story–God’s. We are all blessed with a different viewpoint of how the world works, with different backgrounds and experiences. Together we can help each other grow and mature as the body of Christ. Don’t be afraid to express yourself in your own unique way. Be creative and try new things. Give it your best effort and keep pushing yourself for your very best. Be open to suggestions. Ask for advice. And who knows? Maybe blogging will become a passion of yours. You wouldn’t know if you don’t try…

There is no one way specific way to blog. The key is to simply trust in your abilities that God has blessed you with. To stop procrastinating and put yourself out there. To take risks. Stop comparing yourself with the competition. The beauty of backwards blogging is not found in the fancy title you come with each new blog, the words you write, or the pictures or design that goes with it. It’s the Who you’re writing about. It’s all about Christ. He needs to be the cornerstone of your story…because it’s not about you. And it never was….

If you aspiring to blog to tell others about Christ; I encourage you highly consider doing so. Write what God has laid on your heart. Strive to serve and worship Him through your efforts. Don’t grade your success on the world’s standards. Be humble, kind, patient, and grateful through the process. Push yourself to get better in what you’re doing. Make it a priority to grow closer to God as time moves along. Blogging backwards may seem strange to those on the outside looking in, but never forget why you’re blogging in the first place….When you do this it makes all the difference. Backwards blogging—what a beautiful sight to behold!!

For more–Read and print the Blogger’s Prayer that captures these concepts I have written here.

Thanks for reading! God Bless.

Clinging to Christ,

~Kyle 

To Taste Grace, is to Give Thanks

November 23, 2011

“You have given
You have given all
We give all
All is grace
All is grace
All is grace and grace enough
For all of us – For all of us” Shaun Groves lyrics

“All is grace” is a phrase that I recently came across in reading Ann Voskamp’s book, “One Thousand Gifts.” I pondered the profoundness of this phrase for days trying to think about all that it implied. Then I realized the truth: This statement sums it up—in simple three words what Christianity is and why thankfulness is essential in our walk with Christ. All is grace. But what is grace anyway? ….

Grace and Christianity are usually used interchangeably. Grace is an often used term outside the church as well. When we give thanks before a meal, it is sometimes called, “grace.” Grace is also used to describe a charming or attractive characteristic: “She moves about with such grace.” Also it is used in regards to when someone shows kindness to another. It is even a popular first name handed down from their parents to their daughters today. But grace given to us from God is this: Undeserved favor, sanctification, and extension of mercy. Grace cannot be earned or bought for at a price. This is the message of the Bible: We are guilty, God gives us grace, and because of this grace our response needs to be gratitude. Guilt. Grace. Gratitude…

All is grace….Could it be that simple? Could three words really sum up the core message of the Bible? It’s easy to get caught up in the complexity of trying to live out the Christian faith, in the dos and don’ts, reading our Bible every day, prayer, tithing, etc. and losing sight of this one thing that stands above the rest–gratitude. Because without gratitude, receiving and ultimately tasting the wonders of grace isn’t possible…

Without gratitude we go about miserable living our days with no melody to a beat of monotonous boredom and disinterest. Gratitude is the medley of life. Take it away and guilt is sure to follow. The problem lies in the fact that our society largely emphasizes earning everything–our money, our social standing, the status of our job. It’s the capitalist mentality. And so we approach our relationship with God the same way…”if I do this or that…then God will love me more, or give me what I ask, or won’t get mad at me…” While the truth of the matter is God’s love for us never changes no matter what we do or who we are….

If this didn’t combat with reality enough, we are taught ownership over our possessions. “It’s my body, my car, my cellphone, my computer, my life…” But God tells us another story. He owns everything and it is only through His grace that He allows us to be stewards of the blessings He has put in our lives. Not even our very life is our own. It is God’s and He is the one who grants us every breathe of oxygen we take in. And there’s yet another conflicting worldview we are bombarded with in today’s society:

Advertisements are everywhere. Television, magazines, billboards, grocery stores, retails stores, telling us one thing—you deserve this. It’s all about you. You deserve to take a vacation to the Bahamas, a new sports car that rides like the wind, a new cell phone that puts you in complete control at the click of a button. This couldn’t be further from the truth. We rightly deserve nothing. God doesn’t owe us anything and isn’t dependent on us for His existence. Everything we are given, everything we are, and everything God offers us, including Himself—is a gift. And a gift, in its true sense, is something we receive that requires no compensation….

This is the Gospel message of the Christ. Forgiveness, love, and grace. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) We deserved death and eternal separation from God but Christ freely choose to die for us and take our place on the cross. Salvation is only the starting point. There’s the gift of the Holy Spirit, relationships with other believers, His entire creation all around us…it’s all a gift…For us….

So how then are grace and gratitude connected? The essence of gratitude does not exist in a vacuum with no means of substance. To give thanks, there must be a object, a person to give that thanks to. That’s why we say the words, “Thank you.” That person is Jesus Christ. Three basic activities are part of giving thanks back to God: Recognizing the many benefits we’ve received from Him, acknowledging God as the ultimate Giver of every good gift, and expressing appreciation back to Him for what you’ve received….

The difference between the world’s definition of gratitude and this one is: That we offer gratitude in all circumstances and choose to dwell of God’s goodness despite our difficulties. Christ should be enough for us because He is all we’ll ever need. Perhaps the reason we give in to complaining and whining is because our view of who God is isn’t big enough. We often times minimize who He is and lose sight of the glory, splendor, and majesty of our great God. We should never lose sight of who God is and what He has done for us. He is worthy of all our praise, devotion, and honor! When it comes down do it, though, to receive grace is a choice, just as what our response to grace is…

How do we then taste grace by giving our thanks back to God? Worship. When I speak of worship I am not just referring to a Sunday morning church service, the music we sing out to God, or even a genre of music—worship is lifestyle to be lived out in every part, every breath of our lives. In can be through words–verbally declaring praises back to God through song. Music is a very powerful medium that expresses our heart more deeply than anything else in this world can. Also remember it’s not the style of music you sing to God; but the devotion that is offered back to Him. Whether it be hymns, contemporary Christian, rock, pop, or rap–offer it back to God with a heart blazing on fire for Him. It can be though listening to a song, signing a song, playing a song–just pour your heart into honoring and glorying God….

There’s also praise in our prayers offered to God. We need to ask ourselves: Are our prayers more bent on asking and seeking? Or do include expressions of gratitude when you pray as well? These are very important questions to ask and cannot be taken lightly. You need to train your heart to see all His blessings and provisions in all circumstances. As Paul wrote to Timothy in 1 Timothy 2:1, “First of all, then I urge you that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people.” Praise God for always being there, for the beautiful sunrise in the morning, for His financial blessing He’s given your family–whatever it may be don’t forget to thank Him!…

While these two mediums are the most common and deeply heartfelt ways to express your thanks to God, there are countless other ways too. Stewardship in of itself, is an act of worship. Taking care of what God has given us and offering it back to Him out of love is tasting His grace. Obedience of His Word and living out what you believe is worship. It’s loving others through our words and actions. Keeping our thoughts fixed on Him. Taking delight in His creation, in your daily activities, and Who He is. Gratitude should become as easy as breathing oxygen. It should pour out of our hearts as a daily habit that can be heard with every breath we take!…

Life is not an emergency. Life is not something we should hurry through and race to the finish line. It’s a journey, made up a many moments that shape our lives. We need to take stop the rush and craziness of it all and just take in these moments that fill our days. Gratitude is the seed which plants the miracle in our lives. The miracle of God’s grace given to us not because of who we are–but because of Who He is. To experience life wide awake is to embrace in the lifestyle giving thanks. Because of His grace. All is grace.

Happy Thanksgiving! God Bless.

Clinging to Christ,

~Kyle